So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
