I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
