HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
