Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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