Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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