Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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