3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
