my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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