did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize