Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
