if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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