there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
