You know, be my cock's hype man.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
