his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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