You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
