We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
