There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
How's work?
Spinning.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
