That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
