I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
