I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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