so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
