if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize