Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
