I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize