Do you still have your period?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Randomize
