can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
