Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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