I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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