trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
