Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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