But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
