Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
