its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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