I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize