accomplished twins. life is a go
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
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