Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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