somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
last night I used snow as a chaser
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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