morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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