we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I didn't notice because vodka
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
