I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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