i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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