ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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