1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
