Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
