I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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