But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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