Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Randomize
