I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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