He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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