This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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