ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm too high and old for this...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
