We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
