You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize