There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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