I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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