One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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