I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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